Negative Thoughts are also thoughts... why to shy about it

It was in my class VIII physics class that I learned Newton's third law, which tells, "Every action has the equal and opposite reaction." So it means that whatever we do or think have equal and opposite reactions. My positive thoughts also have negative thoughts and my negative thoughts also have positive thoughts. Hence it is normal to have negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Why does the world always praise positivity when there is bound to have negativity also? Why is negativity untouchable when it is very much there within us. All our positive thoughts are supported by our negative thoughts. It is through our negativity that positivity evolves. It is through all frustrations new innovations and inventions happened. It is through the struggle that we have achieved success. Then why the emotions that are related to frustrations, struggle, negativity, loneliness, sadness, etc are said to be bad and our friends ask us to abstain from it.

So emotions are the truth. It will come. Always all the emotions cannot be positive. They will definitely be negative. Why people reject emotions? Why can't we think of supporting a person to deal with those emotions? Its the handling of emotions that make people hurt themselves or others. Hence listening to people's emotions and accepting it is something that we should learn. When we are affected by emotions that make us feel not so good then we should share openly without any shy or shame. The people who listen to others such emotions should listen to it rather than superimpose or suppress it with other emotions.

We as a friend should support others by just listening to their emotions. Listening is one of the biggest support that we can do to others who just want to share their emotions. Actually many a time people take a huge amount of courage to share their emotions with others (whom they think can provide them a patient hearing). Hence a human being we need to give patients hearing and go beyond by feeling empathetic. Many a time when people share their emotions we start judging them and supporting them with counter emotions thinking that they are negative and they need to be injected positive thoughts. In the process, we make those people more frustrated and live them more lonely.

In our universities and colleges, we are never taught how to listen. We are never exposed to the experience whereby listening things were resolved to a large extent. Our exposures are always such that strengthens our belief that it's only through lecturing or talking we can exhibit our talents and our expertise. Our socialization process should teach us to listen. 

What we Learn and What World Expects...

Life was always difficult for me. All the difficulties of life were very normal for me. These difficulties were common in everyone's life. But the most difficult part of my life that I really cannot cope up with, is the lack of love in my life. I always felt that I will easily get love, maybe I was overconfident about my personality, which I thought to be loving and pleasing. But actually, as I grew up I found that with all my socialization process I have grown up to be a very boring person. A person who could be liked easily but not loved. All my myth about me shattered by the time I reached my 40s. I understood that my religion, my family, my society, my education even the film that I saw taught me to be a person who is just the opposite of what the world wants. Another revelation that I got is that what the world wants may not be what it expects. Our socialization process wants us to make a perfect person which actually the world at large doesn't want.

Now I understand that people who smoke and drink alcohol hiding the so-called society (who actually wants that we all smoke and drink and enjoy life) are actually the fittest of all. As they become big, as I see, people love their company. They meet to enjoy and make merry.  They have actually learned to enjoy life. Our parents and school taught us not to lie but actually by telling lie we manage so many things in our lives so easily and smoothly. Most of the system in our present (adult) world doesn't like honesty, doesn't like truthfulness. They like some corruption, a lot of lies and a lot of slangs and a lot of many things which actually from childhood we are taught that they are bad and we should abstain from it. If you see our religion, though it teaches us to be sinless the people who manage our religion do all those things which are sinful and they live so happily (most of them are richest people on earth). I hope you can all make a sense of what I am trying to convey. In one word the world really functions at different levels than what we are really taught of how the world may function.

I learned that love is divine. It is something that is very common. Every human being has someone selected for life long partner and relationship. No one will live alone. Love happens at first sight. Electric current will flow through your vein if you touch that chosen one for you. Love and lust are very different. "I love you" and "I like you" are synonymous. Blah, blah blah and blah...

But actually, in the actual world, the love between two people starts with "Suhag Raat". This is basically a ceremony to start love with sex. It is the sexual satisfaction that keeps the relationship intact. So if sexual satisfaction is fewer people started with extra-marital affairs hidingly. But actually, those extramarital affairs helped them to continue living happily. But our socialization process shared that adultery is sin and bad (though supreme court now allows it in our country). If your sexual orientation is different than getting love is more difficult or totally impossible. Our education taught us that there can be only one kind of love - heterosexual love. All other types of love are sinful. But actually, there is love beyond man and woman. Why are we not taught that love is love and love doesn't see gender. So even homosexuality is very much prevalent in this world, but our socialization process never tells us its existence. People who could manage two relationships (one mandated by society and one that actually the person wants as per nature) are managing it flawlessly without any concern of how they might be telling lie and destroying other's life. They just need enjoyment. May be lust for them is more important than so-called love.

In all the above processes we lie and we hurt but it doesn't matter to us. The world runs successfully with lies and hurt. Because it gives people success and deep satisfaction. Then why do our socialization process teaches so differently than what the world wants us? In all these, people who want to live as per set norms of society (which the person learned from his socialization process) suffers loneliness and depression at larger. I feel this generally comes from our strive to be "good" and not 'bad".  We need to ask what is "good" and what is "bad"? Does it really exist? Or is it just the myth? We do everything that the world wants us to do but when they are exposed then we deny, we punish ourselves or others, we feel ashamed and above all we defend. But this is the world and we have to navigate through it.